Bombshell Spotlight: April Boyd

The Bombshell Spotlight is a very strong woman named April Boyd. She is a registered social work therapist, and has supported thousands of people over the past decade through grief, loss, trauma and tragedy.  Then tragety stuck her own life. Her work took on new levels of meaning and purpose after her daughter Nora passed away unexpectedly when she was one day old. So she started the Love & Loss Project helping other women deal with a great loss such as hers.

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Janie: Sadly, you lost your baby at 1 day old, how did you change from grieving to making her loss into something positive?

 

April: My work as a private practice therapist had taught me some crucial things that helped me when I experienced what it takes to survive tragedy first hand.

One of those things was this:  I knew that I was going to be changed by this experience.  And I could either become bitter, hardened and shut down, or I could grow.  I could expand.  I could find a way to come out the other side of this as a stronger, better version of myself.

I chose the later.  And I knew I needed to do so for one very specific reason:

If I crumbled and self-destructed that would be the story that would be told about my little girl, Nora.  In hushed tones within my circle of friends and family, she would be referred to as the reason why her mother was now a mess.  And I refused to let that to become my daughter’s legacy.

 

Janie: Many women experience the loss of a child, be it miscarriage or after birth, how can they move pass this, in your opinion?

 

April: First, you don’t need to know how you are going to survive this; just start by deciding that you will, that you need to.

Remember that your lost little one would want you to feel alive again.  They would want you to feel joy again.  So give yourself permission to return to life in honor of them.  You will figure out the rest as you go.

 

Janie: You’ve started a business around this, called the Love and Loss Project. Tell us about that and how you are helping other women.

April: I created The Love & Loss project because I had encountered first hand the gaps in services and the stark absence of social dialogue about loss.  I wanted to make really good support available to women any time of day or night, regardless of income or location.

So the Love & Loss Project is my online comfort and inspiration station for women who have experienced the loss of a baby, pregnancy or child.  It is full of free resources, tools, Q & A videos, and tonnes of tips for life after loss.  And I’m also going to be opening up a couple more spots for people to work with me one to one.

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Janie: Is there a motivational mantra or quote you love?

April: “We’re here for a good time, not a long time.”

I don’t mean that in the reckless teenager sense. I mean that you need to take radical responsibility for your life.  Live the life you want to live now.  Have the conversations you need to have now.  Spend your time doing what matters most.  Let go of all that no longer serves you.

I also love this one:

“Begin what you want to do now.  We are not living in eternity.  We have only this moment, sparkling in our hand and melting like a snowflake.”  Francis Bacon, Sr.

 

Janie: Who are your inspirations? Give us one or two, and why.

April: Danielle Laporte. I love her attitude, philosophy and especially her Desire Map.  It’s an amazing book that focuses on creating “goals with soul,” which is all about getting really clear about what we are chasing and why so we can live more consciously and authentically.

 

Janie: What are your hobbies? Things you love to do and enjoy?

April: Running, Working Out, Hot Yoga.  I had always been really active but I fully believe that grief is a physical experience and needs to be treated as such.  There were days when I think I would have exploded if I wasn’t burning off the pain and the rage with a good long run.

I’m also a nature lover. There’s something about getting out in the woods that soothes my soul.  And traveling. I love exploring new places and ways of life.

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Janie: What are some future goals of yours?

 

April: I have 100s.

I’ve recently agreed to run my first half-marathon. (insert nervous teeth chattering here)

I want the Love & Loss Project to positively impact as many people as possible.

I want to you all to join me on a healing retreat; I’m thinking Mexico 2017.

And though much less likely to actually occur, I want to become the Pack Leader for my six-pound Yorkie Sasha who is quite certain she is the boss of me.

 

Janie: What are you most grateful for?

 

April: Everything.  The good, the bad, the excruciating.  All of it.

And my guy.  He rocks my world.  Sometimes literally. Right now he’s singing and playing guitar beside me as I write this.

 

Janie: What’s something most people don’t know about you?

 

April: Sometimes I’m told that people look at me or they listen to my work and they think I have it all figured out.  I don’t.  And I don’t believe there is any such thing.  I’m committed to living with as much purpose and passion as possible and this is always a work in progress.  I’ve learned a lot, but I still have more questions than answers.  I think I always will.  I hope I’m still questioning and challenging myself when I’m 80.

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Janie: If you could give one piece of advice to the readers, what would it be?

 

April: Burn bright & travel light.

And I want to say thank you for being a part of this conversation with me.  The topic of loss is one that we universally and instinctively want to pull away from, but I believe there is so much power, beauty and connection in looking at this shadow side of life.  It helps us to live and love more fully.  And this is one of the ways I keep my little girl with me.

 

So thank you. And if you want to continue this conversation with me you can do so at www.lovelossproject.com

or

instagram, twitter @lovelossproject
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Wow! What an inspirational woman. If you are struggling with something like this please don’t hesitate to talk to her. I loved this interview. It’s so much different than any of the other women I have featured. As some of you may know I had my own loss of a baby through miscarriage and it’s one of the hardest things I ever went through. If you need to talk, we are here.
Janie
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How To Know You’ve Found “The One”

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Heart beats faster. Breath catches. Butterflies pitter patter in tummy when he’s around. When apart the heart yearns to be near him; almost painful but joyous. When mind wanders it’s to the next time you’ll see his beautiful face. A face that’s seared into the memory like flame. A face not ever forgotten. Hearing the beloved’s name brings a smile. Thoughts of the future play in day dreams; white dress, black tux, a house, babies.

Is he the one?

He must be!

He is always on my mind.

I’m in love.

 

 

If you’re not married I’m 99% sure that you’ve sat and wondered more than once,  “Will I ever find ‘the one’. And “how will I know if they’re the right person for me?” or “What if I marry the wrong man?”

I know I had those thoughts countless times in my dating years. Most people thought that I was too picky because I didn’t date a lot and had even less boyfriends. I thought it was pointless to be committed to someone that I couldn’t see a future with. I mean, the sole purpose of dating is to find your life mate, right? At least that’s my opinion.

But I want to tell you that the feelings described above do NOT mean that this person is the one.

Infatuation and or love, doesn’t mean they SHOULD be your life partner.

“But I can’t live without him!” you think. You can. And if he’s not the right one, you will go on living.

 

Here’s the reality. The “one” WILL bring these feelings of giddiness, and longing, and lust but a spouse must be more than feelings. You can love the wrong man that will cause a lot of heart ache.

 

So here’s the bombshell that you need to ingrain in your mind.

You know you’ve found the one when you are “all I can think about” in love with each other AND you accept each other for EXACTLY the way you are at the moment.

When you DO NOT want to change anything about him and he’s not trying to change you!

Period.

Because YOU can’t change a person.

People can change if THEY want to change but YOU can’t change them.

When you start wishing he were different in some way, than he’s probably not he one. Because you need to love him for the way he is, and vice versa.

People don’t change personality traits because you marry them. They don’t change who they inherently are because you want them to. And why would you want  to? You should love him for him or don’t be together.

Sure, people can change little habits like, leaving the toilet seat up or always throwing their dirty clothes on the floor instead of the hamper, or cussing, but people don’t change the way they treat you, how they talk, if they are a fitness fanatic or a couch potato unless THEY WANT TO.

You can motivate by being a good example but you can’t force anything. Everyone has free will, and you marrying someone will not mean you can change them! Anyone who thinks “if we get married this will change.” Is ignorant. “Or my favorite, “If we have a child our relationship will get better…” not a chance. It causes more stress.

If your man loves to play video games a lot (like mine) accept it his hobby.

If he smokes and you hate it, know that he won’t quit until he’s ready (if that day ever comes).

If he gets jealous easily, that’s not going to change.

If he’s not affectionate by nature, and you feel that you need to be held, snuggled, kissed and often, he’s not suddenly going to be Mr. Huggy.

This should go without saying but if he’s abusive then he’s not going to suddenly stop hitting you because he loves you.

If he’s devout catholic and you’re Mormon and you just can’t get passed the religion difference and think that someday he’ll convert to your beliefs, don’t fool yourself. Maybe he will but probably he won’t. Accept his beliefs and don’t expect to change him or end it. If you don’t accept this, he’s not the one no matter how much you think you’re in love.

You get it yet?

If he’s a workaholic, and loves his job and your love language is quality time and he’s hardly ever around, it’s going to cause problems. You think if he loves you enough he’ll spend more time with you eventually. Don’t bet your future on it.

Sometimes people change for a period of time but in the long run they are who they are and the honeymoon faze, the infatuation feelings of “I want to be with you every second of every day” fade, and you’re left with the raw, real man.

 Love his flaws, his rawness, and goodness all same and you will have a lasting relationship.

And like my husband and I always say, “You know you’ve found the one you should marry because you just know they’re the one.” Call it intuition. You like everything about them, they’re your best friend and you want to make them happy every day for the rest of your lives.

Yes, there will be disputes and arguments and small things may annoy you but those aren’t big problems you can’t overlook and get passed.

You can’t be selfish and expect the relationship to work. If you want to change someone, you’re being selfish because it’s what YOU don’t like about them. (unless they are an addict, or abusive etc but then you already know there’s major problems) If your love interest really didn’t like about themselves, whatever it is you think you can change, they’d do something about it.

My favorite quote on love is “True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one’s companion.”

Gordon B. Hinckley, Stand a Little Taller

 

We’ll just end it with that great quote!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Killer Legs Workout

If you want awesome, toned legs, you need these moves in your routine. I work my legs/booty 2/3 times a week. I’m trying to grow my booty, tone my legs and lose fat right now. It takes heavy lifting and protein to gain muscle and lose fat. And in case you were wondering, you have to have grown muscle to be “toned”. You see this muscle when you have a low enough body fat percentage. Which is where diet is key, but we’ll get into that on another post. (Or you could download my free Bombshell Body week which has a grocery list and meal guide along with exercises. Sign up HERE for that)

killer-legs-workout on the bombshellinitiative.com

Each exercise you want to add weight. I use the bar for most of the exercises except the wide squat where I use a dumbbell. I also add weight to the bar but for the photo’s it was easier to get a good shot with no weight while doing squats a lunges.

Do a warm up set with the back lunges for 20 reps.

Then with each exercise after do 8-11 reps repeat for 3 sets, BUT make sure that each of these are a challenge! I can’t stress enough how important it is that you should be wore out by the end of this workout. You should STRUGGLE to get to 11. and I’m talking legs shaking, face red, breathing hard last rep!

If you feel like you could do 5 or even 10 more reps then it’s not hard enough and you need to add more weight. No, you wont get bulky from doing this. Adding weight is how you gain muscle. Trust me, if you don’t do this, you’ll stay looking the same for years. ( This happened to me). I just lifted for a number and lifted the same weight each week and then wondered why I always looked the same.

Do as wise Janie says and start adding weight, get your diet on point (lots of protein less junk) and you’ll progress quickly.

To automatically download and learn more about the free week of the Bombshell Body plan go here >>>>http://thebombshellinitiative.com/bombshell-body-freebie-2/

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The Best Sunless Tanning Solutions

Most of us ladies think that tan skin just looks better on us but tanning beds are bad for the skin and once fall and winter hit, the summer tan fades. Hence why they invented sunless tanning solutions.

My favorite way to get tan is spray tan. I actually bought spray tan machine on ebay for about $130 a couple years ago because spending $30-60 on a single spray tan was just unrealistic. I doubt they have the model I use now because it’s old but simply type “spray tanning system” in ebay search and a ton will pop up.

Now for the solutions that actually look good, not orange or fake. I’ve tried several and now days most are pretty good, and don’t leave you looking orange. I personally like the brown/bronze color rather than a greenish or purple tint (if you’ve ever looked at spray tan solution you’ll know what I’m talking about)

So my favorite solution for the spray machine is Norvell Organic Dark. You can get it off Amazon for $17.49 here>>>>
Norvell Organic Dark Premium Sunless Solution – 8oz

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It’s by far the best color I’ve tried and lasts for a solid week.

Now if you don’t want to invest in a spray machine there’s lotions and mousse that are easy to apply.

I happen to like Tanwise Dark Bronzing Mousse in Ultra Dark. It’s not too dark trust me and it goes on smooth and streak free. I use disposable rubber gloves to apply because you don’t want your palms orange or super dark.  You can get yours here >>> Tanwise Dark Bronzing Sunless Mousse,7 fl. oz.

You’ll be tan for a couple days. It doesn’t last as long as a spray tan but you can reapply it often easily.

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For the face.

I’m picky about tanning stuff on my face. A lot of what I have used in the past has left my face patchy and uneven. Mostly because my skin is very dry especially on my face.

However, I really like FakeBake’s The Face lotion. As with all tanning solutions make sure to exfoliate first to remove any dead flaky skin and then apply. Since my skin is so dry I always have to put lotion on first but I wait a few hours before applying any tanning solutions so the lotion has time to soak into my skin and doesn’t act as a barrier.

You can order yours off Amazon here>>> Fake Bake Face Self-Tanning Lotion, 2-Ounces

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I just want to let you know that if you order from any of these links I get a small percentage! It helps this mama out a lot. I also don’t recommend products that I don’t use or like so no worries there. This is really the best tanning stuff I’ve used.

If you have a fav tanning product post in the comments so I can give it a try and review!

 

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Sore To The Core Workout

A strong core doesn’t just look good, it helps you with every day activities. Picking up heavy objects, or a child maybe without hurting your back comes to mind. And of course these exercises help whittle that middle.

Do each exercise for 1 minute each, for 3 rounds. Resting 2 minutes at the end of the full set. So do all 4 exercises then rest 2 minutes, not 2 minutes between each individual move. With the side plank do 30 seconds on each side.

Save this to your phone or Pinterest and do it for your next workout!

 

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Leave me a comment on how you like this workout!

 

 

Want a full week of workouts and food proven to help you lose weight? Download the free week of the Bombshell Body plan by entering your email below. It’s an automatic download!

 

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