My Rainbow Baby Had Four Legs and a Black Fluffy Tail

 

July 2nd 2017 after having a fun dinner at my dad’s house, Travis and I drove home around 9:30pm and when Leo, my black Pomeranian didn’t come running to the fence to greet us, I immediately felt slight panic. I got out of the car and called his name. Usually he would run full speed to the gate, and jump up and down beyond excited that were home. It didn’t matter if we’d been gone five minutes or hours.

We started searching our fully fenced yard, calling for him but he never came, and that’s when I realized he was gone. What I didn’t know at the time was that when we found him it would completely break my heart.

2 years ago in March of 2015 I had a miscarriage. Travis and I were so excited to be expecting a baby. The thoughts of names, if he or she would look more like me or him. Buying clothes, baby stuff having a little person that was half of me was thrilling and scary. Then at 10 weeks I started spotting. My heart dropped. I called the doctor, went in for an ultrasound and watched the screen for a sign of a baby and listened for a heartbeat but only heard there dreaded words, “I’m so sorry but there is no baby.”

We’d gotten a heartbeat and an ultra sound picture of what looked more like a squiggly line than a gummy bear because we went in at six weeks for the first appointment when usually doctors have expecting mothers wait for the 8 week mark. But since I had irregular periods I had no idea how far along I was.

The whole experience was miserable, it hurt like a son of a gun which I had not expected and then the emptiness of no more baby filled my soul. I cried in bed for days, asking God why. But why does anything like this happen to any of us? We’ll never really know.

After a couple weeks of moping around I decided I wanted a puppy. If I couldn’t have a baby, I’d have a puppy. I searched for about a week, I knew I wanted a Pomeranian because I’d always wanted one my whole life. I LOVE, fluff and I love, little.

Then I saw a sweet little black face with a white patch of fur on his chest. He was a few hours away but I talked my husband into driving to get him. The second we saw him I loved him. He was just so dang cute. A tiny little fluff ball.

(He even has his own instagram! lol)

We took him home and slowly but surely I started to feel better. He mended my broken heart and became my baby Leo. We took him to the vet for vaccines and checkups just like we do now with my 9 month old baby girl, Jaylee. And We took him everywhere, i even used to take him to the grocery stores and set him in the child seat, until i was politely asked not to bring him anymore 🙂

A trip to Sedona hiking in the hills, where everyone had to compliment his cuteness. And where we carried him most of the way because it was too hot for a little fluff ball with black fur.

I took him for a walk every morning in Arizona around our apartment complex before it got too hot. Even though he had a lot of “accidents” we never made him go outside alone.  We took him to the park where he chased Travis around for hours, loving life.

Then we moved to Utah where we hiked to a waterfall, and I posted on Facebook holding him up sand said. “Look I found a baby bear” that’s what he looked like in my arms. He had so much fun and so did we. Splashing in the water and running with Travis on the trail.

 

Where he also got his first taste of snow!

 

Then another move to Idaho where we wanted to buy a house. I told the realtor that it had to be a house with a fenced yard for Leo. We basically bought a house around the needs of our dog lol. That’s how much he meant to us. We found the house fully fenced, big yard and he loved it.

He was there for me when I had a terribly hard pregnancy with Jaylee. The last half of my pregnancy I had to lay in bed most of the time and he was always there to take away my loneliness while my husband worked.

 

But all the trips, and hikes aren’t why I’ll miss my Leo the most. Its the everyday things.  It’s looking out the window and watching him race cars, motorcycles, and trucks along the fence. My neighbors always commented that they couldn’t believe how much energy he had.

It’s not seeing his cute face in the window as we’d left the house. He’d jump on the couch and look at the window and watch us leave. If he was out in the yard he’d followed me to the gate and bark as I pulled out because he wanted to go.

Its sad waking up and not seeing him laying on the bed at my feet, usually on his back sprawled out. When I drop some food I have the urge to call his name. When I walk into the house I miss him jumping up and down excited to see me. When he’d followed me into the bathroom for any reason. If I laid down on my bed, I’d heard his toenails tap along the kitchen floor and second later he’d be jumping up to lay beside me.

It’s sitting here writing this, tears pour down my cheeks and looking over at the other couch where he usually was and not seeing him there. Or he’d been on my lap. He loved to be on my lap whenever I was trying to do something productive.

It’s seeing his little black hairballs on the carpet and knowing they’ll never be there again.

My rainbow fur baby is gone. Ran over by someone who didn’t care to stop. My heart broke after two days of searching and we get word he might have been seen on the highway. We drove to where he was last seen and I screamed out “NO!” when I saw his little body lying in the center of the highway on a patch of grass.

I hadn’t been there to comfort him when he died. His body was left there to rot for two days. I asked God again “WHY!” why did you take my first baby and now my Leo? I’m still asking this. He was more than a dog to me and my husband, he was like my kid. And most people will never understand the bond we had. People say it’s just a dog. Or it’s hard to lose a pet… But for some of us it’s like losing family.

There are so many things I wish we would have done different that would have saved him, so we wouldn’t have this emptiness of him being gone from out lives but I can’t think about that. I’m grateful we were able to find him and bring him home and get closure so we didn’t always wonder what happened to him. I hope soon that I won’t cry because it’s over but smile because we had him.

He was one of my favorite hello’s and my hardest goodbye.

I love you, Leo.

 

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Beechtree Cotton Baby Wrap

As a new mom I started looking for a wrap that would allow my little Jaylee to be snugly wrapped to me so that I could have my hands free sometimes, and because my back started killing me from carrying her in my arms. if you’re a mom, you know that new born babes like to be held… a lot.

I found some wraps that were around $50-60 but I wasn’t willing to spend that kind of cash on a wrap so I went to Amazon .com (as I often do) and started looking around. After awhile I found the Beechtree baby wrap, checked the reviews and liked the price of $19.95 and ordered it. You can order yours here >>> Classic Cotton Baby Wrap – Proprietary Fabric is SOFTER and STURDIER, by Beechtree Baby (Grey)

It’s basically just one large piece of fabric and I had to go onto YouTube and watch a video on how to tie it because I couldn’t figure it out from the directions but once you do it, it’s easy and my baby loves the wrap.

I’ve put her in a carrier and she doesn’t like it as much. Probably because she’s not snug to my body and she likes the soft blanket feel of the wrap better, I think. At least until she’s a little older.

 

beechtree baby wrap review

See, she’s comfortable enough to take a snooze in it. And when mama hasn’t washed her hair or put makeup on, only baby’s cute face makes it into the photo lol.

Again, if you want to order one for a good price, this is the one I recommend! Get it here>>>

Classic Cotton Baby Wrap – Proprietary Fabric is SOFTER and STURDIER, by Beechtree Baby (Grey)

This isn’t a sponsored post I just like this wrap so thought I’d share, but I do make a percentage from Amazon, if you order from my link. Which is much appreciated if this is a product you’d like.

Janie

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Jaylee Jane has arrived!

 

My little baby girl Jaylee Jane was born Wednesday October 5th at 5:12pm! And let me just say we are so in love with her! I feel like I was always meant to have her. Like she’d been waiting all my life to come to me. As a mother, have you felt this?

To be honest, I didn’t have a super strong desire to be a mother. People always asked when we were going to have kids and I’d just say, “when i have one.” We weren’t trying and I was happy with my free time and the way life was.

Until I got pregnant the first time and lost that baby to a miscarriage and it absolutely devastated me. I never knew how much I wanted that little baby until it was gone. I cried in bed for days wondering why this happened especially when there’s teenagers who don’t want and aren’t ready, having babies all the time. Or crack heads, or so many women who chose to abort that precious child… and I couldn’t have mine!? Someone who is ready, and wanting it?

After a week or so I accepted what happened, made peace with it, and I still think about who that baby might have been from time to time.

When I got pregnant with Jaylee almost exactly one year later (baby #1 was due Oct 17th and Jaylee, due Oct 5th) I worried, in the back of my mind, almost the entire time that something might go wrong. I almost couldn’t be excited about it because I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to get let down again. But she’s here and she’s healthy and honestly I couldn’t love her more. I was singing to her last night and started crying because I just love her so much. It’s the craziest feeling to fall in love with someone so fast!

Here are some pics from the hospital! If you want to see more follow me on facebook!

the kearl's from thebombshellinitive.com

travis and jaylee janie and jaylee

jaylee just born jaylee jane- thebombshellinitiative

the happy bombshell family new mommy

 

I’m enjoying spending time with my little love, but I’ll be back to posting on the regular soon! Lots more bombshell girly things coming your way!

Also have you checked out my free weeks worth of workouts and eating guide download? I’ll be back to working out soon to get this bod back into shape! go here to get it http://thebombshellinitiative.com/bombshell-body-freebie-2/

-Janie

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Maternity Photoshoot

To be honest I didn’t really want to do the maternity shoot. I’m not one of those women that’s enjoying pregnancy and “glowing”, feeling so beautiful and loving the big belly. You might think I’m “glowing” in the photos below but trust me it’s just a lot of makeup, a great photographer and a nice camera. I have a rash on my face from the pregnancy… And I’ve actually been a pretty big complainer (and I’m usually not) because I’ve felt sick, passed out, can hardly walk at times because my legs get jello-y,  went through a phase were I was afraid to drive my car or go anywhere alone because I worried about fainting at any given time, got some itchy pregnancy rash… not fun. You can read more about that on my other post here http://thebombshellinitiative.com/confessions-of-a-fitchick-with-a-not-so-fit-pregnancy/

But my husband said something to me today that made me feel a little bad. He said “every time you say you hate being pregnant, or complain about it, it makes me think you wish you never got pregnant.” And having had a miscarriage previous to this one, that one hit me. I shouldn’t be complaining, because I’m blessed to have gotten pregnant second time and with only 4 more days to go she’s healthy! I’ve been trying to keep that in mind the past few months it’s just been hard mentally. I’m so used to being independent and active and I’ve been very limited on what I can do.

But any way’s my mom was my photographer and did a freaking amazing job! and if you’re in the Idaho Falls area, you should have her take your pictures! Her website is www.suzannesphotography.net you can also find her on facebook  Suzanne S Photography.

We did the photoshoot up on my grandparents land just outside Idaho Falls. They call it “the dry farm” where they used to farm winter wheat and there’s even a cute little shack up there that’s still standing. I should have taken some pictures of it.

We loved the colors and all the trees. It was the perfect place to do a photoshoot!

If you’re wondering, I got my dress, from Ross Dress For Less… which is pretty much where I shop all the time for dresses and cute tops.

 

matenity photoshoot with sunflare

maternity photoshoot in a field with sunflare

the bombshell initiative maternity photoshoot

fall maternity photo shoot in floral dress fall maternity photoshoot on thebombshellinitiative.com

maternity photoshoot on thebombshellinitiative.com

maternity photoshoot, floral dress, windmills maternity photoshooot in a field

janie kearl maternity photoshoot on thebombshellinitiative.com

And the black and whites!

black and white maternity photo on thebombshellinitiative.com black and white maternity photoshoot on thebombshellinitiative.com

black and white maternity heart black and white maternity photo on thebombshellinitiative.com

liked this one so much I did it in B&W and color!black and white maternity photo

Who else is having a baby soon? Will you do a maternity shoot?

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Baby Shower!

I recently had my baby shower for Jaylee and it was simple and fun. We didn’t do games because, well I don’t like games for parties like this. I like to chill, chat and eat. So that’s what we did. I want to thank everyone who came and for all the wonderful baby gifts!

My sisters and mom helped decorate for the party. We had glitter donuts, balloons, chips, fruit salad and more. I went with my theme of purple and gold, which is basically the theme of my baby room. Purple, gray and gold. I’ll have photos of that when it’s finished! Baby is coming in T minus 10 days (if she’s on time) October 5th. And the cute little dog is my “fur baby”, Leonidas

leo the pomeranian baby shower baloons and gifts baby shower glitter donuts baby shower purple and gray baby girl quilt baby shower blanket snacks for baby shower baby shower blanket pink lemonade family baloon arch

 

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